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imaginedyou) wrote2007-04-23 07:03 am
imaginedyou) wrote2007-04-23 07:03 am
Purgatory Ficlets [Yanagi, Kirihara,Yukimura]
Five more drabbles set in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
clubpurgatory!universe. All centered around Yanagi, Kirihara and Yukimura, in various combinations. All under a cut this time because I'm too lazy to figure out the formatting this early.
Post 1, Post 2.
theme from40baisers. better days (Akaya/Renji). A flashback.
-
"Akaya," Yanagi says, tapping lightly on the door, "it's time to come out. You've had long enough to get ready."
"Akaya," Kirihara spits as he opens the door, and Yanagi knows the anger isn't directed at him. "You're the only one who even calls me by my real name anymore! It's not exciting enough, who decided that anyway? My parents thought it was good enough!"
"Ak-" Yanagi begins, and thinks better of it. He places a hand on Kirihara's head, flattening his hair down gently. "Fame is different. Almost everyone takes a stage name when they start out. It's often for your own privacy, and protection."
"Then why don't they just say that?" Kirihara asks. There are circles around his eyes, and his voice is worn.
"I think they wait for me to." Yanagi replies. He has taken upon himself the reputation of being the only one able to calm Akaya down when he gets ruffled, or 'has a tantrum' as his sponsors like to say. Yanagi keeps that piece of knowledge firmly to himself. "So, are you ready to go?"
"In a minute," Kirihara says quietly. He looks down at the floor for so long that Yanagi looks down too, just to check that there are no tears or stains on his pants, and that his shoes match. It is in that moment that Kirihara peers up and catches him almost completely unawares, pressing his mouth to Yanagi's.
"Okay," he says with a small smile. He doesn't even glance around to see who might be watching. "I'm ready to go now."
-
theme from40baisers. street smart (Akaya, Yukimura).
-
Kirihara steps inside the club with smug satisfaction at being able to flash his completely real I.D. at the disbelieving doormen. He isn't especially tempted to stay, now that he has managed to get in, but then he figures if he can get in, he can stay just a little while to make sure the staff inside know he is old enough too.
When the bands come out onto the stage, he cringes and balls his hands up into fists. Tears prickle the corners of his eyes when he thinks about the good things, the one good thing he has run away from, but he tells himself things are better this way.
They wanted him to become something he was not. He had no choice but to leave.
The hardest part was keeping it a secret from Renji; it was the reason why he'd come away with little more than the clothing on his back. Any packing, any suspicious actions would have quickly tipped him off. And the worst part was letting him leave the bed in the morning with a soft smile and complete obliviousness.
Kirihara slaps himself across the face in the bathroom and tells himself fiercely that he isn't going to cry. He isn't going to give up and go back, not ever.
He is still telling himself these things twenty minutes later, believing less and less in them each time, when the door opens and the club manager himself walks into the bathroom as if he had to see it for himself to believe it; that someone had shut themself up in the bathroom for near half an hour. And happened to be talking to their reflection angrily.
Yukimura takes one long, purposeful look at Kirihara, and the rooms prickles with anticipation before he speaks.
"Wash your face," he says eventually, "and come with me. I've got a job for you, if you want it." He doesn't give Kirihara much option, or a chance to reply. "You look like you need it."
-
theme from40baisers. desire to live (Akaya, Yanagi). Flashbacking!
-
He sits in the make-up chair as they turn him into someone else, and thinks of as many curse words as he can to rename them all by. Yanagi sits in the corner looking for all the world thoroughly engrossed in a magazine, and Kirihara can't believe he's being so calm. His life is being turned upsidedown, everything he has been told to say and do is being torn back down so theat they can just remodel him for a bigger, better, wider audience who will scream louder and grab harder and tear his clothes worse than they have been already, and no-one is even contesting it!
He doesn't like the songs they write for him, he doesn't like the way he is told he has to sing. In the beginning, being himself was just fine, why is it changing now?
He wants to ask Renji, but a voice inside him tells him he won't get any answers, because Yanagi isn't even sticking up for him, hasn't said a word. Hasn't even looked up to give an opinion on the whole thing. He thinks of betrayal and squirms more in his seat. The woman with the brush swats at him to stay still.
They never used to do that before, either.
Yanagi clutches the magazine harder until he is creasing up all the pages and ripping small holes with his fingernails. When he closes his eyes he doesn't see Akaya in the chair, but himself, and Seiichi, and the others. His body threatens to tear him apart with the shakes he is insistent on holding in. He gets up and exits the room for a coffee, a break, a jolt back to reality that reminds him that part of his life is over and that he is not helpless anymore.
Except that this time it isn't him going through it, but Akaya. And this time he still isn't doing anything to make a difference.
He doesn't know it, but it is his stepping out of the room that makes Kirihara finally snap - Yanagi never leaves him without asking first, without making sure everything is okay. It is when he admits that everything is not, and that he will not suffer it any longer.
Akaya decides if no-one else will acknowledge anything is wrong, he will save himself.
-
I had a theme, but I'm saving it. Akaya/Yanagi, Yukimura.
-
"I really hate him." Kirihara says, and Yanagi doesn't know how to reply to that. Once upon a time perhaps he would have, could have looked at Kirihara as the stressed out, overworked and spoiled star he was and softened his words, held his patience.
When the object of hatred is Yukimura, he simply can't sit back anymore. Kirihara has ignorance as his excuse, but Yanagi decided when he came back to them both that it would not stand up in the long run.
"I think you should try talking to him." Yanagi says firmly. There is a little steel in his voice he'd forgotten about.
"What? Why?" Sometimes, he wonders when Kirihara became so certain that Yanagi would simply agree with everything he said and wanted. Was he so guilty of spoiling Kirihara? Indulging him?
Where then had he found the guts to let go?
"Because I said so." Yanagi says, setting the table for dinner and not dignifying Kirihara with a look towards him. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls a sulky face.
"You can't tell me what to do." He says, and it's like going back in time; Kirihara is thirteen again, and Yanagi is eighteen and expected to handle him like the mature adult he doesn't even believe he is yet.
"No, I can't," he acknowledges. "I can however, remind you that I only ever did anything in your best interests. And that there was a reason you always listened to me in the end."
Later, in bed, he doesn't fall asleep until after Kirihara; when he gives a deep sigh and admits defeat. He flings an arm over Yanagi's stomach and clutches hold of him tight, as though he might disappear otherwise.
Yanagi's chest hurts a little at that, but he reminds himself that they'll all be better off in the long run, and it is the thought he goes to sleep on.
-
theme from40baisers. between two fires (Akaya/Yanagi, Yukimura).
-
The door doesn't slam this time. Kirihara walks into the room calmly, instead of stamping.
"So?" Yanagi asks, looking up from his desk.
"When I'm nicer to him, he's nice back to me." Kirihara shrugs. Yanagi smiles.
"That's often how it works." He says.
-
"Has he always owned the club?" Kirihara asks. "No, I don't mean that, he was a kid once. But is it the only thing he's ever done?"
"Why are you asking me?"
Kirihara shrugs. "You know everything. Don't you know him?"
Yanagi doesn't want to lie to him, but doesn't see how the whole truth will help at this point. Not unless it comes from Seiichi directly.
"I've crossed paths with him before." Yanagi admits.
"Was it bad?" Kirihara asks. "You seem to never want to see him."
"He's a busy man, I don't need to take up his time. And for what?" Yanagi shakes his head and hopes Kirihara will dismiss this as easily as he is pretending to himself. "To say hello and what have you been up to? I can see by looking."
Kirihara nods and lets the subject go.
"I'll have to ask him myself." He says. Yanagi looks up, trying to seem more curious than frightened. "About owning the club, I mean."
Ah.
"Good idea." Yanagi says. "It's nice to feel that someone is interested in you."
-
Three days later, Yanagi is at the club and feels a premonition of disaster. Unfortunately it only comes seconds before the event, and as such he has no time to escape it.
"I knew something was wrong when Akaya started being civil," Yukimura says, and Akaya jumps between Yukimura and Yanagi, but makes no difference at all; he could be invisible for all the good it does. "I just didn't quite... I should've known, Renji. I should've known."
"Maybe." Yanagi says, his throat closing up until his voice is a small squeak. "Or maybe I've gotten subtler since you've known me."
Yukimura laughs, and turns his back on Yanagi. A sense of deja vu comes over him like a wave crashing down.
"I trust I won't see you here again," he says, in the voice that leaves no room for argument.
-
clubpurgatory!universe. All centered around Yanagi, Kirihara and Yukimura, in various combinations. All under a cut this time because I'm too lazy to figure out the formatting this early. Post 1, Post 2.
theme from
40baisers. better days (Akaya/Renji). A flashback. -
"Akaya," Yanagi says, tapping lightly on the door, "it's time to come out. You've had long enough to get ready."
"Akaya," Kirihara spits as he opens the door, and Yanagi knows the anger isn't directed at him. "You're the only one who even calls me by my real name anymore! It's not exciting enough, who decided that anyway? My parents thought it was good enough!"
"Ak-" Yanagi begins, and thinks better of it. He places a hand on Kirihara's head, flattening his hair down gently. "Fame is different. Almost everyone takes a stage name when they start out. It's often for your own privacy, and protection."
"Then why don't they just say that?" Kirihara asks. There are circles around his eyes, and his voice is worn.
"I think they wait for me to." Yanagi replies. He has taken upon himself the reputation of being the only one able to calm Akaya down when he gets ruffled, or 'has a tantrum' as his sponsors like to say. Yanagi keeps that piece of knowledge firmly to himself. "So, are you ready to go?"
"In a minute," Kirihara says quietly. He looks down at the floor for so long that Yanagi looks down too, just to check that there are no tears or stains on his pants, and that his shoes match. It is in that moment that Kirihara peers up and catches him almost completely unawares, pressing his mouth to Yanagi's.
"Okay," he says with a small smile. He doesn't even glance around to see who might be watching. "I'm ready to go now."
-
theme from
40baisers. street smart (Akaya, Yukimura). -
Kirihara steps inside the club with smug satisfaction at being able to flash his completely real I.D. at the disbelieving doormen. He isn't especially tempted to stay, now that he has managed to get in, but then he figures if he can get in, he can stay just a little while to make sure the staff inside know he is old enough too.
When the bands come out onto the stage, he cringes and balls his hands up into fists. Tears prickle the corners of his eyes when he thinks about the good things, the one good thing he has run away from, but he tells himself things are better this way.
They wanted him to become something he was not. He had no choice but to leave.
The hardest part was keeping it a secret from Renji; it was the reason why he'd come away with little more than the clothing on his back. Any packing, any suspicious actions would have quickly tipped him off. And the worst part was letting him leave the bed in the morning with a soft smile and complete obliviousness.
Kirihara slaps himself across the face in the bathroom and tells himself fiercely that he isn't going to cry. He isn't going to give up and go back, not ever.
He is still telling himself these things twenty minutes later, believing less and less in them each time, when the door opens and the club manager himself walks into the bathroom as if he had to see it for himself to believe it; that someone had shut themself up in the bathroom for near half an hour. And happened to be talking to their reflection angrily.
Yukimura takes one long, purposeful look at Kirihara, and the rooms prickles with anticipation before he speaks.
"Wash your face," he says eventually, "and come with me. I've got a job for you, if you want it." He doesn't give Kirihara much option, or a chance to reply. "You look like you need it."
-
theme from
40baisers. desire to live (Akaya, Yanagi). Flashbacking!-
He sits in the make-up chair as they turn him into someone else, and thinks of as many curse words as he can to rename them all by. Yanagi sits in the corner looking for all the world thoroughly engrossed in a magazine, and Kirihara can't believe he's being so calm. His life is being turned upsidedown, everything he has been told to say and do is being torn back down so theat they can just remodel him for a bigger, better, wider audience who will scream louder and grab harder and tear his clothes worse than they have been already, and no-one is even contesting it!
He doesn't like the songs they write for him, he doesn't like the way he is told he has to sing. In the beginning, being himself was just fine, why is it changing now?
He wants to ask Renji, but a voice inside him tells him he won't get any answers, because Yanagi isn't even sticking up for him, hasn't said a word. Hasn't even looked up to give an opinion on the whole thing. He thinks of betrayal and squirms more in his seat. The woman with the brush swats at him to stay still.
They never used to do that before, either.
Yanagi clutches the magazine harder until he is creasing up all the pages and ripping small holes with his fingernails. When he closes his eyes he doesn't see Akaya in the chair, but himself, and Seiichi, and the others. His body threatens to tear him apart with the shakes he is insistent on holding in. He gets up and exits the room for a coffee, a break, a jolt back to reality that reminds him that part of his life is over and that he is not helpless anymore.
Except that this time it isn't him going through it, but Akaya. And this time he still isn't doing anything to make a difference.
He doesn't know it, but it is his stepping out of the room that makes Kirihara finally snap - Yanagi never leaves him without asking first, without making sure everything is okay. It is when he admits that everything is not, and that he will not suffer it any longer.
Akaya decides if no-one else will acknowledge anything is wrong, he will save himself.
-
I had a theme, but I'm saving it. Akaya/Yanagi, Yukimura.
-
"I really hate him." Kirihara says, and Yanagi doesn't know how to reply to that. Once upon a time perhaps he would have, could have looked at Kirihara as the stressed out, overworked and spoiled star he was and softened his words, held his patience.
When the object of hatred is Yukimura, he simply can't sit back anymore. Kirihara has ignorance as his excuse, but Yanagi decided when he came back to them both that it would not stand up in the long run.
"I think you should try talking to him." Yanagi says firmly. There is a little steel in his voice he'd forgotten about.
"What? Why?" Sometimes, he wonders when Kirihara became so certain that Yanagi would simply agree with everything he said and wanted. Was he so guilty of spoiling Kirihara? Indulging him?
Where then had he found the guts to let go?
"Because I said so." Yanagi says, setting the table for dinner and not dignifying Kirihara with a look towards him. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls a sulky face.
"You can't tell me what to do." He says, and it's like going back in time; Kirihara is thirteen again, and Yanagi is eighteen and expected to handle him like the mature adult he doesn't even believe he is yet.
"No, I can't," he acknowledges. "I can however, remind you that I only ever did anything in your best interests. And that there was a reason you always listened to me in the end."
Later, in bed, he doesn't fall asleep until after Kirihara; when he gives a deep sigh and admits defeat. He flings an arm over Yanagi's stomach and clutches hold of him tight, as though he might disappear otherwise.
Yanagi's chest hurts a little at that, but he reminds himself that they'll all be better off in the long run, and it is the thought he goes to sleep on.
-
theme from
40baisers. between two fires (Akaya/Yanagi, Yukimura). -
The door doesn't slam this time. Kirihara walks into the room calmly, instead of stamping.
"So?" Yanagi asks, looking up from his desk.
"When I'm nicer to him, he's nice back to me." Kirihara shrugs. Yanagi smiles.
"That's often how it works." He says.
-
"Has he always owned the club?" Kirihara asks. "No, I don't mean that, he was a kid once. But is it the only thing he's ever done?"
"Why are you asking me?"
Kirihara shrugs. "You know everything. Don't you know him?"
Yanagi doesn't want to lie to him, but doesn't see how the whole truth will help at this point. Not unless it comes from Seiichi directly.
"I've crossed paths with him before." Yanagi admits.
"Was it bad?" Kirihara asks. "You seem to never want to see him."
"He's a busy man, I don't need to take up his time. And for what?" Yanagi shakes his head and hopes Kirihara will dismiss this as easily as he is pretending to himself. "To say hello and what have you been up to? I can see by looking."
Kirihara nods and lets the subject go.
"I'll have to ask him myself." He says. Yanagi looks up, trying to seem more curious than frightened. "About owning the club, I mean."
Ah.
"Good idea." Yanagi says. "It's nice to feel that someone is interested in you."
-
Three days later, Yanagi is at the club and feels a premonition of disaster. Unfortunately it only comes seconds before the event, and as such he has no time to escape it.
"I knew something was wrong when Akaya started being civil," Yukimura says, and Akaya jumps between Yukimura and Yanagi, but makes no difference at all; he could be invisible for all the good it does. "I just didn't quite... I should've known, Renji. I should've known."
"Maybe." Yanagi says, his throat closing up until his voice is a small squeak. "Or maybe I've gotten subtler since you've known me."
Yukimura laughs, and turns his back on Yanagi. A sense of deja vu comes over him like a wave crashing down.
"I trust I won't see you here again," he says, in the voice that leaves no room for argument.
-