( imagined you saw me ) (
imaginedyou) wrote2007-02-11 01:07 pm
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Lives Intwined [POT Kushiel verse, Tezuka, Oishi, February 07 Drabble]
To Em; February prompt number 11
Tezuka/Oishi - Lives intwined. Kushiel!verse if you can manage it, maybe some spying or intrigue or something. If not, canon setting, with how Oishi was chosen to be the vice-captain.
Oishi, Tezuka, a contract but no sex - Oishi confesses. 778 Words.
-
"I'm sorry, I didn't contract you myself." Oishi says immediately, nursing his drink and looking rather upset. "You were a gift."
"It's okay," Tezuka says, kneeling and lowering his head. "It's not the first time for it to happen."
"But I may just be the first to turn down your services, mmm?" Tezuka looks up at that, in surprise. "Ah, I am. And I'm a fool for it, I know. But knowing I'm a fool doesn't change my feelings."
Tezuka sits properly, more comfortably, and pulls his legs up to his chest.
"You... just want to talk?" He attempts to verify, knowing how ridiculous it sounds.
"Well," Oishi says, a lets a slither of a hollow laugh escape. "You just might understand, being what you are."
Tezuka does not understand yet, but he waits. All knowledge is worth having, after all.
"I dislike the system, the houses and their rules. Their servitude." Oishi drains his glass and refills it quickly. If he needs alcohol to fuel his words, Tezuka will not argue. "Not for moral reasons, as you might think. I'm not so noble. I just happened to chance upon a boy who made me look twice , at some stupid social gathering. Somebody was trailing him about on a leash, but he looked so perfectly pristine. I knew he was not, but when I spoke to him... He was full of smiles and joy. Even in such a position."
Tezuka searches his memories and does not have to go back far to be aware of the situation Oishi is talking about. The boy was Kikumaru Eiji.
"Uh, some people are... They like to be treated in such a manner." Tezuka says, trying to be tactful. "I'm such a one of those. But you knew that; surely that was what you meant by me understanding?"
"Oh, I know." Oishi nods. "I had first-hand experience; pay the right amount and you'll get whatever you want, you know. It's disgusting really."
"It doesn't work that way in my home." Tezuka admits. "I have a large say in what I will and will not do."
"You are lucky then."
"Yes."
"So, bought and paid for for an entire night, I had the boy brought to me. He remembered me; I could see it on his face. It fell when he realised what I had done; hired him, become another one of them. But then after a moment, he was not just trembling from withheld tears."
"Desire?" Tezuka asked. "To feel that someone you care for has betrayed you is painful. And he had been trained to find pleasure in pain. As well as obviously desiring you, or else he would not have been moved in such a way."
"You're very perceptive." Oishi says, slurring his words as he drains yet another glass. Tezuka presses his lips together and wonders if he has said too much. But Oishi is drunk, or near to it, perhaps he won't remember this in the morning. "I wanted to explain, I wanted just to see him, have him to myself for a time knowing no-one else would have their claim upon him, but he obviously believed I was just like the others. And because he gave me no chance to explain, because he wanted it, and because I wanted him, and he was obediently peeling away his clothes without me even having to ask, I took him, just like that. I was frustrated and angry, nothing like myself, and still he enjoyed it."
"Some of us are made that way," Tezuka whispers. He can imagine, vaguely, except that betrayal coming from Fuji is far more sinister, and a hundred times more enticing just as it is a hundred times more revolting at the same time.
"You're not the same, though." Oishi says, eyes snapping open to look at Tezuka with a sudden clarity. "When it was done, he ran into the bathroom and I heard him crying. I'm just sitting here telling you about it, and you are trying to hide your lap with your hands."
"Being trained to something is not the same as having been born to something." Tezuka says very firmly. "Some are willing, and conditioned to it. I am constantly wishing I could be something other than I am. I can't control this. It sounds like Eiji can."
"You knew who I meant?" Oishi babbles.
"I won't tell anyone." Tezuka promises. "What did you do after that?"
"I was ashamed." Oishi says. "I couldn't do anything; I let him go. And now my family believes I have a penchant for boys who enjoy being mistreated. It couldn't be further from the truth."
-
Tezuka/Oishi - Lives intwined. Kushiel!verse if you can manage it, maybe some spying or intrigue or something. If not, canon setting, with how Oishi was chosen to be the vice-captain.
Oishi, Tezuka, a contract but no sex - Oishi confesses. 778 Words.
-
"I'm sorry, I didn't contract you myself." Oishi says immediately, nursing his drink and looking rather upset. "You were a gift."
"It's okay," Tezuka says, kneeling and lowering his head. "It's not the first time for it to happen."
"But I may just be the first to turn down your services, mmm?" Tezuka looks up at that, in surprise. "Ah, I am. And I'm a fool for it, I know. But knowing I'm a fool doesn't change my feelings."
Tezuka sits properly, more comfortably, and pulls his legs up to his chest.
"You... just want to talk?" He attempts to verify, knowing how ridiculous it sounds.
"Well," Oishi says, a lets a slither of a hollow laugh escape. "You just might understand, being what you are."
Tezuka does not understand yet, but he waits. All knowledge is worth having, after all.
"I dislike the system, the houses and their rules. Their servitude." Oishi drains his glass and refills it quickly. If he needs alcohol to fuel his words, Tezuka will not argue. "Not for moral reasons, as you might think. I'm not so noble. I just happened to chance upon a boy who made me look twice , at some stupid social gathering. Somebody was trailing him about on a leash, but he looked so perfectly pristine. I knew he was not, but when I spoke to him... He was full of smiles and joy. Even in such a position."
Tezuka searches his memories and does not have to go back far to be aware of the situation Oishi is talking about. The boy was Kikumaru Eiji.
"Uh, some people are... They like to be treated in such a manner." Tezuka says, trying to be tactful. "I'm such a one of those. But you knew that; surely that was what you meant by me understanding?"
"Oh, I know." Oishi nods. "I had first-hand experience; pay the right amount and you'll get whatever you want, you know. It's disgusting really."
"It doesn't work that way in my home." Tezuka admits. "I have a large say in what I will and will not do."
"You are lucky then."
"Yes."
"So, bought and paid for for an entire night, I had the boy brought to me. He remembered me; I could see it on his face. It fell when he realised what I had done; hired him, become another one of them. But then after a moment, he was not just trembling from withheld tears."
"Desire?" Tezuka asked. "To feel that someone you care for has betrayed you is painful. And he had been trained to find pleasure in pain. As well as obviously desiring you, or else he would not have been moved in such a way."
"You're very perceptive." Oishi says, slurring his words as he drains yet another glass. Tezuka presses his lips together and wonders if he has said too much. But Oishi is drunk, or near to it, perhaps he won't remember this in the morning. "I wanted to explain, I wanted just to see him, have him to myself for a time knowing no-one else would have their claim upon him, but he obviously believed I was just like the others. And because he gave me no chance to explain, because he wanted it, and because I wanted him, and he was obediently peeling away his clothes without me even having to ask, I took him, just like that. I was frustrated and angry, nothing like myself, and still he enjoyed it."
"Some of us are made that way," Tezuka whispers. He can imagine, vaguely, except that betrayal coming from Fuji is far more sinister, and a hundred times more enticing just as it is a hundred times more revolting at the same time.
"You're not the same, though." Oishi says, eyes snapping open to look at Tezuka with a sudden clarity. "When it was done, he ran into the bathroom and I heard him crying. I'm just sitting here telling you about it, and you are trying to hide your lap with your hands."
"Being trained to something is not the same as having been born to something." Tezuka says very firmly. "Some are willing, and conditioned to it. I am constantly wishing I could be something other than I am. I can't control this. It sounds like Eiji can."
"You knew who I meant?" Oishi babbles.
"I won't tell anyone." Tezuka promises. "What did you do after that?"
"I was ashamed." Oishi says. "I couldn't do anything; I let him go. And now my family believes I have a penchant for boys who enjoy being mistreated. It couldn't be further from the truth."
-